In a bizarre turn of events that has sent ripples through the internet, none other than Darth Vader himself appeared at a San Diego city council meeting to voice his support for Flock surveillance cameras. The Sith Lord, clad in his iconic black cape and helmet, delivered a passionate plea for increased surveillance technology, revealing some… personal motivations.
The Force is Strong With This Surveillance
As As reported by 404 Media”>reported by 404 Media, “Darth Vader” signed up to address the Public Safety and Livable Neighborhoods Committee on August 19th. The imposing figure approached the podium, his heavy breathing filling the room as he spoke for nearly two minutes in favor of expanding Flock’s presence throughout the city. He claimed that “the Emperor” (presumably Palpatine) is a fan of the technology and emphasized its importance in tracking “rebel scum.”
Vader then dropped a bombshell, revealing his own personal stake in the matter: “I need this so I can stalk my ex-girlfriend.” This candid admission sent shockwaves through the council chamber and immediately went viral online.
Flock Cameras: A Controversial Tool
Flock cameras, the subject of Vader’s impassioned plea, are surveillance systems provided by the private company Flock Safety. These cameras record license plates, individual people, audio (including speech), and more. This data is logged, stored, and can be compared with other databases to track individuals and vehicles. While marketed as a crime deterrent and investigative tool, their use has sparked significant controversy.
Numerous individuals, groups, and communities have raised concerns that the widespread deployment of these cameras creates a surveillance state where everyone’s movements are constantly monitored. In San Diego, activists have been fighting against the implementation of Flock cameras for some time, but the city quietly signed a new deal with Flock”>the city quietly signed a new deal with Flock late last year.
Jedi Mind Tricks and Jail Labor
Continuing his address, Vader urged the council to improve their “Jedi mind tricks” to manipulate public perception of law enforcement. He also expressed approval of the council’s recent decision to effectively criminalize homelessness, stating that it would provide a steady stream of free prison labor, referencing the Otay Mason Detention Center where inmates reportedly earn $1 per day for 12-hour shifts and have faced reports of horrific conditions, including tuberculosis outbreaks.
Finally, Vader returned to his original point, stating that the cameras would help the Empire “find Luke Skywalker” and “the rebel scum and their hidden base on Hoth.” He then abruptly ended his speech and disappeared from the meeting. Attempts to reach him for further comment have been unsuccessful, leading many to speculate that he has likely returned to the Death Star to implement similar surveillance measures across the Galactic Empire.
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